I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize