evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
