dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
