I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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