I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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