Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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