I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
