I wish I only lived at night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
