Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
