what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
