:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
