Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
