Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
