Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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