And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
