so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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