My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
