She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
