carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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