Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You need Xanax blowdarts
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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