it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
