you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
