I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
