im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
