chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
