i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
