Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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