i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize