I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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