I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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