Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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