Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
