Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
