he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
