What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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