Pants 0. Shit 1.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
why is half of my head shaved?
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