Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
