I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
