I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
