i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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