I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
