I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
