the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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