girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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