laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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