i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
never play flip cup with pint glasses
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
