Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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