I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
