Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
