You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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