He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
