does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
