Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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