hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wants to bone in the snuggie
People in love make me want to vomit
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
