so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
