I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
