so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
