I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
