worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
