i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
