i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
