How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize