I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize