The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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