8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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