Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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