So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
