MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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